Christmas Carol Contemplations: What Child is This?

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

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pfQHUP-j6zwKYGrPTu_qJscNhUBPS71VP438/

While others are rejoicing in the merriment of the season there are those who are mourning, alone or suffering from depression. For some the sparkling lights, parties and Christmas experiences highlight their pain.


Ironically Christmas Carols and Hymns have been one of the weapons in my arsenal for over 20 years as I've learned how, with God's Grace, to subdue depression when it tries to rally against me. There have been seasons in my life where listening to Christmas songs would give me courage and hope which is why my friends know I listen to them throughout the year when necessary.

It turns out that I'm not the only one who has found Hope through the meditations of Emmanuel's journey from heaven to earth to be with us.

The author of today's hymn almost lost his life to illness as a young man and his convalescence included experiencing depression in the following months. His response was to turn to scripture in search of truth and hope during his spiritual crisis. His search eventually led to his recovery and beautiful poetry later put to song.(For more read devotion at this link.)

Because I know the lyrics already I prefer this version by Lindsey Sterling

for the beauty, delicacy and emotion of it. In my heart I hear the words

 but I posted another one below in case you weren't familiar with the lyrics.

My prayer today: What child is this in Mary's lap is sleeping? It is you, Emmanuel. You who came to bring Hope and Light to darkened hearts. Help me to see You today and see your Light which has overcome the darkness. Use me to share your light with those around me.

One Bite at a Time: How to Study for Vocabulary Tests at EAL

"Mrs. Heather, how do I study for the tests we have on the roots and vocabulary words? And how can I do better on the test?"

The tests for the roots and vocabulary words you are assigned every week (taken from Roots and Fruits by Jill Dixon and in your course pack) are tested in two ways with a matching section and a word usage section. These are two very different skills- recall and critical thinking.

You will need to memorize your weekly roots (recall) and you'll need to understand how the vocabulary words are used in sentences (critical thinking). Here are three tips to prepare you to LEARN more effectively which is the main goal.

They will also help you remember information which will help you on your tests but remember, LEARNING is more advantageous than getting a high score on a test and subsequently forgetting everything after the test. (These study strategies apply to all areas of study.)

1) Do your vocabulary homework every week and do it over a couple of days instead of cramming it into one.

Your brain is like a forest. When you learn you are creating walking paths of information. The more you walk on the path the clearer the path becomes. When you don't walk the path it becomes overgrown and you have to rebuild the path. Walk your paths at least weekly and possibly daily if you really struggle a lot. In the younger class the vocabulary work is meant to be done every day for this very reason. Some kids like to cram it in. If you are one of those kids then make yourself take two days to complete all of the assignments instead of four. The repetition will help you learn but cramming will squeeze your brain like a sponge (and all those words will fall out!).

Older students do not have the same worksheets the younger students do but they can benefit from doing the creative learning activity listed on their weekly assignment sheet for their weekly vocabulary words ("Draw a picture, symbol, or write a rhyme or clue to help you remember the meaning.")






  
2) Review last weeks work every week.

This is the same idea I explained in Number 1. Every week you should go back over the vocabulary and roots you learned in the previous weeks. Use your flip book/flash cards to review the weekly roots and vocabulary. Play a game with your flashcards or with an online study tool like Quizlet (it creates review games for you when you enter your terms). This only takes a few minutes but will pay you back by reinforcing those pathways you are building. Read my other blog for more details about testing and study tools at EAL.

3) Study in Style! Use your Learning Style to Review: Re-read, rewrite or speak aloud the sentences you wrote.

Every week you write several sentences with your vocabulary words (the worksheets from Roots & Fruits in your course pack). Depending on your learning style you should review those sentences so you can reinforce how the words are used. Writing the words in sentences is the best way to understand how they are used....because you are using them when you write!

By reviewing and revisiting your homework from previous weeks you will be reinforcing what you have learned and making well worn pathways that are easier to walk on. This will also prepare you for how to study when you move on to higher education in college or technical school. Learning how to use these practices now will pay you back many times over.

Recommended Resources:

This is what we use at EAL for vocabulary and
what I've used with my children for the last 9 years.

 

If you don't know your learning style you can use this guide
 to learn what it is and what techniques will help you
 learn in all areas of study.

Creative Learning Is Critical Thinking: "Skits, Cartoons & Interviews? What's with all this creative stuff?"

"Ugh! Mrs. Jill, Why do I have to write a paragraph like I'm one of the characters from this book? Why can't I just answer some questions about what happened?"

"Akk! Why does Mrs. Heather make us draw political cartoons for geography and history homework? I already answered the questions from the reading, why do I have to do this?"

"Blech! Mom, "History in Action" mini projects and writing trivia questions?!  Why can't we just do worksheets instead?"

Students have a natural inclination to be creative already but when you make it 'homework' they may resist it.
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Imaginative writing, artistic expression and hands on projects usually thrill most of my students (especially elementary students and most homeschoolers) so it may be hard for you to believe but there are some students (usually high schoolers ) who don't like doing the 'fun' stuff built into the homework and class time at Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning (EAL).

In fact, I've even had a rare parent question why we have so much fun in class and they occasionally wonder if we're learning anything when their teenagers come home saying they pretended to be living works of art or acted in a reality TV show about the settlers of Jamestown at class that day.  When having to make a choice about which assignments to complete these students or parents will skip the 'easy, fun stuff' in favor of the 'more serious learning' and traditional critical thinking questions.  (Please see notes at end of this article about what is recommended at EAL to complete for homework when pestilence or wanderlust descend upon your household.)

When my own family has to choose between assignments (usually because someone gets sick or we go out of town) I  will invariably choose the creative tasks every time because it benefits my students more in the long term than some of the other traditional learning expressions because  creativity requires higher thinking functions to complete them.

Wait, Mrs. Heather, did you just say the fun stuff is 'harder' than answering the questions?

Uncaging the Jabbering Parrot

Does Rodney's parrot understand what he is saying?
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Yes, I did say that! Some may argue with me and please don't get me wrong.* Reading comprehension questions serve an important purpose but by themselves they are like a parrot in a cage repeating what is said around them. Does the parrot truly understand what it says?

Many times homework  questions are regurgitating facts* (not unlike a parrot) from the reading but the real critical thinking occurs when creativity happens.

When students have to "Make it Real" (an activity from Jill Dixon's Read With the Best literature curriculum) or complete another type of creative activity they are required to understand the material they have just read and be able to communicate what they have learned instead of parrot facts from a cage.

Creativity  is abstract thinking and forces the student to think beyond the facts of the story, such as in the "Make it Real" assignment from The Narrative of the Captivity of Mary Rowlandson, and imagine what else could have happened and what they might have done differently. In order to accurately write a paragraph about what would have happened if Mary Rowlandson had decided to approach her suffering in the complete opposite way of her world view the student must not just know how Mary Rowland  responded to suffering but understand why she made the choices she did. This type of activity requires both understanding and empathy which is critical thinking in action!

It's letting the parrot out of the cage so it can fly!

A student's cartoon depicting the boundary conflict
between New York & New Jersey over Ellis Island
shows they truly understand what happened.

This is HARDER than saying what happened (concrete thinking).  It requires truly thinking about what has been read and examining the narrative or the chronicle of history. The creative activities require students to conceptualize the facts and put them into a three dimensional world off of the page.  When this happens true comprehension and application takes place. 

It requires thoughtfulness and time which is usually why students (and sometimes parents) question the importance of these types of activities. Students have many tasks they must accomplish in their studies and it's easy to be short sighted when our 'to do' list feels very long. We want to check things off as fast as we can and get it done.

That's fine when checking off chores or a items from a shopping list but is that the only thing we want to teach our children? 

If our end goal is to enable our children to engage the world rather than be passive observers and be able to evaluate the very real problems they will face as adults then we need to teach them how to think critically and to understand the people they will live life with.  

Those are abilities and skills that can't be checked off a list but require time and effort as we challenge them to go beyond parrot jabber.

At the end of the day I want to make sure my students will be able to fly when the cage door opens.

Found at: http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e9/fc/2e/e9fc2ead7103009ef06d288a39f39427.jpg

*When I say reading comprehension questions are regurgitating facts I am not referring to the application questions or short answer essay questions that require analysis. Rather, I am referring to questions that repeat facts from the reading such as the Who, What, When questions instead of the Why questions that analyze reasons why people or characters made the choices they made or How their choices impacted people around them. Those types of Why and How questions are incredibly important as I discuss in my blog "I Hate Poetry: The Importance of Humanities."

Important Note to EAL Parents about skipping homework assignments:

Some weeks we can't get all of the assignments done and must make a choice. Usually this is because little Hezekiah has the plague or your family has the opportunity to visit Aunt Ethel and Uncle Shamus in Glasgow. This is when I'm asked, 'What homework should we get done?" This is discussed at length in the information packet you received at orientation but the short version is:

• Get the literature and history reading done  
• Complete the writing assignments (if at all possible)
• Do the creative assignments for history and literature 
• Be sure to have your student go back and cover any material that will be tested.
• Alternatively, do some of all homework sections (i.e.- odd numbered "?'s" instead of every "?")
• Always communicate and excuse incomplete homework on the weekly assignment sheet
• If students are going to have a lengthy absence because of severe illness or extended travel then please speak with the director to come up with a specific plan for your family and situation.

Why do these specific assignments:

~If they get the reading done then they have the content and can participate in class discussions.

~If they get the creative assignments done they will also be able to participate in class activities.
 ~Writing skills are often one of the primary reasons people enroll in EAL so don't get too far behind in that if at all possible but if a student has been keeping up with most writing assignments and has strong writing skills they will be okay if they miss one assignment. ***However, if they are working on their research paper in high school or their annual writing project in the younger class then they will have to make up writing assignments to avoid being behind.***

~Doing part of each type of homework assignment still reduces the work load but enables the student to participate in class and maintain or establish a routine (in the case of students with special needs).

When doing this be sure to complete all of the work that is tested on and reduce the load else where.



I Hate Poetry! (Or why do I need to study this stuff?): The Importance of Humanities

Question: Why should we read poetry or study literature, history or religion?

The short answer: To help us understand the world & the people who live in it.

Studying the humanities helps us to understand people and their experience. We encounter people we might never meet in other circumstances when we read literature, study history or examine religion.  We witness things we have not or might never live ourselves. Reading literature and studying humanities  helps expose students to the human experience and prepares them for the many different people and situations they will encounter when they head out into the world outside of their comfortable bubble.

 "When you read all of a sudden the world is bigger
 and nothing makes sense." ~Nathan Flood
(Something my son said and this is my first meme.)

Students  tend to live life with people they already understand or who have similar or identical world views as they do. While this can be a comfort and a source of strength it can also be a disadvantage.  When we live life in our comfortable bubble we assume everyone thinks like we do or makes decisions based on the same beliefs we have. This can lead to conflict and misunderstanding.



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How many conflicts both locally and globally have had tragic results because people didn't try to understand what other people believed, why they acted in a certain way or lacked the ability to cross communication boundaries? Whether it's a personal conflict with a friend or boss or a broader conflict  within communities or between nations the understanding, or lack there of, regarding values and beliefs can result in life altering consequences.

By examining the people we encounter in humanities and trying to understand their perspective (why they do what they do) we are preparing ourselves for the people we will encounter and the decisions we will need to make on an individual, business, community and global level. By exposing students to literature, history and religion in a way that causes them to examine these subjects with the goal of understanding people we are helping them to see beyond themselves, engage in empathy and hopefully help them become more compassionate and thoughtful of the people and circumstances around them.

Kid President reads poetry.

I can thank my humanities teachers in all of my literature, history and religious studies who helped equip me for the strange new world that awaited me outside the doors of my home and school and prepared me for the many people I would encounter.

When I was in high school I had not yet met as self centered a person as Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray but I gained insight into how selfishness can lead to destruction of self and others. In college I encountered men who viewed women as Hemingway's heroes did but I wasn't completely surprised by their actions and knew to look for a different type of hero in my life. Observing the dysfunction of  the families in Tennessee William's plays prompted me to examine my own family's story. 

As I witnessed religious and moral hypocrisy I was reminded of Nathaniel Hawthorne's "Scarlet Letter" and then examined my own heart as I related to others. As I faced my own crossroads and needed courage I was reminded of Frost's diverging roads and Christ's reference to the narrow gate.

When community or world leaders made decisions about limiting free speech,  free press or the exercise of religion I remembered how leaders from the past used that to their advantage to control the populace.  I took my lessons from ordinary citizens I had read about in history who stood up to injustice in the past which impacted my decisions in the voting booth as a young adult and to take action as a citizen.

When I encountered broken or angry people I was more compassionate and able to interact with them in a positive way because I had 'met' people like them in my studies of literature, history and religion and could empathize with their situation instead of turning my back on them.

The world is getting smaller in this technological age. Our students will be working with and living alongside people from diverse walks of life, cultures and world views. They will need to be able to understand, empathize and communicate with people from all over the world. A strong foundation in the humanities can help equip them for just that task.

Authentic advancement and achievement mean understanding what it is to be a true citizen and not a repeater of unexamined platitudes, a compassionate and self-reliant human being, a good parent, a caring member of the community, and somebody who can be trusted to teach the next generation something other than greed, territoriality, anger, outrage, bitterness and a blinkered vision of the unmapped parts of the world — and the mind.~ Gina Barreca

Further perspectives on the importance of humanities:
Op-Ed: "Humanities at the Heart of Real Education" by Gina Barreca
YouTube Video: "How & Why We Read: Crash Course English Literature #1"

Heather Flood is the developer of the history curriculum at Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning. For the last 10 years she has been teaching humanities courses to homeschoolers whom she hopes have gone on to become empathetic, compassionate future world changers who have learned how to learn, yearn to understand, and continue to ask the question "Why?" wherever they find themselves.

One Bite at a Time: 3 Tips for Teaching Auditory Learners

"Jehoshaphat, how can you do your home work with those ear buds in your ears?"

"Marigold, can you please stop talking for two minutes?"

"Angus, Why can't you go read a book?!"

These are just some examples of exasperation from parents of auditory learners. It's likely the moms or dads exclaiming questions like these are not auditory learners* themselves and, probably just as likely, Mom or Dad are visual learners. When visual learning teachers communicate with auditory learners it can often feel as if they are speaking different languages without an interpreter. Today I'll attempt to be your interpreter with at least these three common frustrations.

Q: How can you possibly learn with all that 'noise'?
A: How can they learn without it? If auditory learners are stopped from learning through stimulating their auditory senses (listening or speaking) then they will STOP LEARNING!

Let them listen to music while reading or working BUT it should be instrumental music or light on the lyrics.  Catchy phrases (i.e.- earworms) will create more of a distraction, especially for anyone with ADD.  One of my kids loves to listen to the sound tracks of video games like Kingdom Hearts or Zelda. Keep the volume low to create a 'white noise' or just loud enough to drown out other distractions in the house.

Another option is a soundscape app such as this one that creates ambient noise. This would be very effective for people with ADD or studying in an environment with distractions (can you say 'siblings').

Q: How can I get my child to stop talking all the time while I'm trying to teach her?
A: Don't stop her. Redirect her. Give her an outlet to talk about what she's learned.


History Study Group:They don't look
 like they are having fun but they are.

Little siblings come in handy if you can find one. Auditory learners will be able to reinforce what they've learned if they can talk about it by teaching someone else. Have them make a video or skit to summarize what they've learned. Do an oral report; just be sure to have an attentive audience or this won't work well.

Charlotte Mason's narration technique is fantastic for auditory learners. The child reflects back to the parent what they have learned by telling you everything they remember about what they just learned whether that is cuttlefish, pharaohs or Wilbur from Charlotte's Web. Use critical reading questions from your curriculum as a leaping off point.

Learn Out Loud! Join or start a study group. This is a huge boon for teenagers. The energy of being with a couple of other kids and the discussion based learning that results is just what they need. Reading out loud together and discussing the assignment energizes an auditory learner.

Q: Reading assignments result in World War 3 in my house. How can I make my child read more?

A: Have them read less.  Seems counter intuitive but find as many resources as you can to reduce and augment reading with listening. (For more about cultivating reading follow the link to my blog post.)

Use audio books BUT have them read along with the hard copy whenever possible. Older students should read along while listening AND take notes as they read in their book highlighting important information (this pairs their secondary style of visual or tactile with their auditory and reinforces their reading skills).  Audible (a subscription service) and Librivox (free auditory books in the public domain) are my 'go to' tools. Libraries often have audio books but you can run into availability issues. My dyslexic daughter has re-read most of the audio books we purchased with our subscription which delights this mama and now she reads for fun without the audio books and reads most of her textbooks (albeit slower).

Watch documentaries. Isn't that visual? Actually it's both. If your child is an auditory learner they can likely recite to you the entire dialogue from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope without hesitating.  Whenever possible I supplement our studies with documentaries from Netflix and YouTube.

These are just a few bite sized nuggets for tweaking how you teach your auditory learner. I would love to hear your own tips, tricks and trade secrets for teaching according to learning styles so be sure to comment. You can also check out my Pinterest board "Eclectic Learning Styles".

*RESOURCES:  There are lots of tips for teaching an auditory learner found on the internet and in great resources available about learning styles. Identifying my children's learning styles and teaching them accordingly has reduced the level of stress in my home and resulted in REAL learning. A popular book about learning styles is The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias. If you want real world suggestions for teaching different learning styles I recommend Jill Dixon's Concise Learning Style's Assessment or POC4U (includes assessments, tips AND suggestions for curriculum matched to learning styles).  POC4U saved me time, money and my sanity. No joke.

Moving Stones: Intentionality Prevents Stress-...suggestions for preparing for next year now

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We're all pretty full of Spring around here and counting the nanoseconds to the last day of school. Maybe you're feeling burnt out or have the April Blahs like I did. Here's a blog I wrote about overcoming burn out last week and below are some tips our family uses for preventing burn out next year.

 

This was written for the families at Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning but I believe the principles in most steps are applicable to everyone. (Don't have an EAL in your area? You can start one! Find out here.)

Suggestions- Getting ready for the new school year:

Starting the year with a plan will alleviate stress and make it clear to the child (and the parent) what success looks like so they feel empowered to succeed instead of trying to hit a moving target blind folded faced in the opposite direction.

This clip art is what I wished I looked like when I'm stressed out but alas,
I am neither that svelte or that fashionable. And look at her hair! Fabulous.
But I do make a mess like she is so that's something, right?

I hope these suggestions will relieve you of some stress as the new school year looms and you evaluate how the past year has gone. Taking a few minutes to write down a simple plan has been a great help to me. This looks different in each home. For highly organized, structured people it may look like a power point presentation with handouts and a spread sheet. For others it's a quickly scratched 'to do' list posted on the fridge with coffee stains on it.  I am an organizationally challenged, undiagnosed ADD Mom and recovering procrastinator. This means I'm very creative and flexible but I need some structural parameters to help guide me and my kids even in my relaxed home environment. It has made a big difference in helping me enjoy my summer and start the new year with confidence.

Step 1: Begin purchasing books from the book list(s) as soon as possible to insure availability and best price on used book sites. Try to have all books purchased by July 4th as prices will spike and availability lessens.

Step 2: Attend Learning Styles Workshop with middle school/high school students for learning styles assessment and interactive training to maximize teaching and learning at home with the EAL program. Date TBA in June. (Not in the Savannah area? You can do this at home with Jill Dixon's Concise Learning Styles Assessment.) Not only will your child maximize their learning potential but you may eliminate key areas of frustration in your homeschool by teaching to your child's strengths. This one thing may be the most effective change I made in my home school.

Step 3: Begin purchasing supplies and uniforms. Keep an eye out during the summer for emails from EAL teachers about suggested summer preparations for the school year.

Nothing gets kids excited like seeing
a bird poop on mom's head.

Step 4: Create excitement for the coming year's study by interacting with the history period before the school year begins by watching good movies, visiting area attractions, reading good books about the time period that are NOT on the booklist. Prepare a list of supplemental area activities to enhance your study during the year. Decide if any other subjects can be incorporated into the unit study (ie- science lessons that coincide with history figures such as Ben Franklin or Eli Whitney, etc.).

Step 5: Decide what your main goals are (no more than 5 at a time, 3 for younger children) for each child for the academic year and discuss them with your child. These should be specific goals with a clear explanation of 'success' for the child. This way you and your child have clear, realistic expectations to refer to as your guide during the year.  After you've made up your goals set them aside for a day or two then revisit them to make sure they are realistic. As the goals are reached new goals can be added as the achieved skills have become established routines and are removed from the list. It helps to have a reward system to encourage these goals (even grown ups perform better at work with incentives).I've observed that rewarding small attainable goals with small rewards works best to keep momentum going for the long term goals and larger rewards**. 

 

Examples of clear goals may include:

- completing all assigned writing steps in Write With The Best every week 

- working independently on a specific subject (ie- Grammar) first before asking mom for help 

- practicing math facts, study skills or SAT skills every day for 10-15 minutes

- coming up with and executing a time management study plan for all weekly assignments

 

 

Examples of small rewards for a job well done (hint: identify your child's 'currency'*)
- 15 minutes of screen time

- choice of book for family reading time

- a walk around the neighborhood or play time with Mom or Dad outside

- pick of that night's Red Box rental

- blue slushy from the local convenience store

- choice of dinner or desert

- community service card (doesn't have to do a chore)

 

Examples of big rewards for consistency over a longer time period (a week, 2 weeks, etc. Should correspond developmentally with your child)

- choice of next family outing (given guidelines by parents)

- money or gift card for subscription services like video games or iTunes

- new book or other item the child has been waiting for

- special dinner at home to celebrate the achievement

- money towards a large goal like camp or item they are saving up for

- friend fun night at your house

- time out with Mom & Dad and no siblings

 

I hope these suggestions help you as you wrap up this school year and prepare for the next. The goal in our house is progress-not perfection- and having a plan helps us through out the year when we find ourselves overwhelmed and need to reboot.

 

**Our family uses a reward program we started after completing a special 15 week program called Second Step at Savannah Child Study Center several years ago for our son with Asperger's. There are very specific steps and a structure which was very helpful for two ADD parents raising attention challenged kids. One of these days I will write more about the rewards and about the program. If your child has Asperger's, Autism, ADD, or emotional management issues then I cannot recommend enough the program at SCSC with Bonnie Craven. My 17 year old son would tell you that program was the most effective therapy we ever participated in and changed his life.  I truly thank God for leading our family there.

 

Moving Stones: The April Blahs....overcoming burnout and finishing the year strong

Is this you? You may have the April Blahs.

Years ago a sage, old woman laughingly told me, "I think God removes all memories of labor pains after we give birth. That way we won't let that stop us from having more babies."

This week I came to the realization that this is true of other challenging experiences that produce beautiful fruit including homeschooling. Every year I begin homeschooling again in August I am filled with anticipation and excitement. As the year progresses that euphoria changes and I think to myself on hard days, "Just wait till April, it will be (insert positive adjective that is the opposite of the struggle I am feeling that day)."

Somehow I have created this Utopian illusion that April is easier. I don't know where I got this idea but it has been there every year, "Just wait until April...."

Here's what I've realized: April is HARD! Every year April rolls around and I am mentally exhausted. And I know I'm not the only one. I keep running into bleary eyed and discouraged moms who have the April blahs.

April is when we are mentally assessing how the year has gone for each of our children in their education as well as other areas of their lives we are responsible for shepherding. We are also looking ahead to the coming 'new year' and making decisions that involve course corrections, continuing what 'ain't broken' and adding the next steps for each of our children in their journey.

We're tired and everyone has Spring Fever. The weather is beautiful and beckons to us to traipse through creation's wonders while the end of year wrap up calls us back to our 'desks'. Our kids have lost their minds with scholastic exhaustion and typical childlikeness so they are all for jumping ship and at times that seems like a really good idea.

So what are we to do?

I don't have all the answers but these are some things I do.

1) Reboot!
Sometimes my computer needs a system reboot and I have to clean out the creepy crawlies that have attached themselves to my operating system. I remind myself of the vision that has been given to me to fulfill for this school year. I re-examine it and remind myself of what the long term goals are for each of my children. This means I may toss out a few 'good' things that have gotten in the way of our goals. There are lots of opportunities that come my way that are 'good' but if they don't line up with my big goals then I sacrifice them. By doing this I am able to then focus on what are the most important things and help my family get back on track.

I also look back at the 5 R's of Homeschooling Jill Dixon talks about:

• Relationship with my God, my spouse, my children
• REAL learning
• Reading real books and learning to analyze them
• wRiting to communicate critical thinking
• aRithmetic goals for our family are mastery of the foundations

2)Refresh!
Do something to fill your tanks! I know I just said 'cast aside good things' if they don't meet the goals I have but one of those goals is joy filled learning. If a special opportunity shows up that truly will fill us with joy and not just be one more distraction then I will go for it.

REAL Learning means sometimes letting go of lesson plans.
 

An example was last week. We are currently learning about the Renaissance and Explorers. The replicas of Columbus' ships sailed into town. That day I 'threw out' our lessons for REAL learning.  We went on a field trip with other families because it would reinforce what we were learning as well as give both the kids and I a chance to enjoy the outdoors and our friends. We came home feeling revived from being with good friends and experiencing a unique, serendipitous moment that excited us about our studies.

The rest of the week I determined what academic lessons were the most important according to our goals and excused a couple of small things. This week there are other opportunities I'm saying 'no' to because we said 'yes' last week. There is a balance my kids need to learn between experiencing joyful learning and practicing the skills that will support their ability to pursue life (ie- meeting deadlines, research skills, communication skills in writing, etc.).  To have only 'fun' or only 'work' is not balance and not a realistic preparation for their lives.

3)Recalibrate!
It is also important for me to spend time refreshing my mind and my spirit. The business of life takes over and the most important things that actually keep me on the healthy path get cast aside. Recalibration doesn't have to take long but it does require intentional choices of how I spend my time, who I spend time with and what thoughts I dwell on.

I am currently saying 'yes' to being with people who will add to my mind and spirit and 'no' to what will drag me down. I think based on what is in my heart therefore
I need to examine what I am putting there and what influences I am allowing in my life. This takes discipline but even 15-20 minutes of praying, reading and worshiping alone daily or 20 minutes visiting with a friend who builds me up results in recalibrating my mind.

Sometimes this recalibration means rethinking solutions to problems. I delegate things to other people or I partner with other moms to come up with a solution to a roadblock (ie- working with other moms to find a way to teach things I struggle with like science or forming a study group to make an appointment for my family to learn which results in greater productivity).

We can't toss out all the things in our life that create stress or worry but we can adjust how we approach them.

In the end I have to remember I was called by Him to live life abundantly. His yoke is easy and his burden is light....as long as I follow close to him and stop trying to do this life thing on my own.

Want more tips on preventing the April Blahs and stress next year? Check my suggestions for preparing for next year now.

The Joy of Sorrow. The Gift of Grief.

 

 

My heart shattered on this day 18 years ago. On that day and the days afterwards I couldn't comprehend the possibility that I would dance and sing again in the presence of God. That day was the day I miscarried Isaac. I came home from the hospital aching in my body and deep in my soul. I felt his absence from within me just as I had felt his soul arrive.

 

There was an emptiness that felt like a pit and I cried out to Him without words what the psalmist said,"...to the Lord I plead for mercy: “What profit is there in my death, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it tell of your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!”

 

While I felt the world had stopped moving everyone else began to move forward. My family invited us to go with them to look at puppies the next day. How surreal to me but we went and came home with Moses. He filled my arms. That night I lay on the floor with him as he whimpered for his mother. The floor was cold and I lay with my head next to his. We cried together until we found comfort in each other. 

 

Beautiful women came and ministered to me with healing words and offers of hope. They told me I would rejoice again. I nodded because I trusted them but I didn't know how that would happen. 

 

My first Sunday back in church I presented my sacrificial offering of praise. "I do not understand your ways, God, but I love you. I question you. I shake my fist at you. I plead with you. I don't understand you but I love you." I was honest. I was raw. And He answered me.

 

In my grief He gave me a gift, a deep, abiding knowing. He loved me. Those words seem so simple but if you knew me, knew how I never felt secure in anyone's love, how I had grown up in brokenness, uncertainty and darkness then you would understand why that sudden knowledge of His steadfast, infinite love for me lifted the weight pressing me down into the pit.

 

The song ends this way:

 

 

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
    you have loosed my sackcloth
    and clothed me with gladness,
that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
    O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever! Psalm 30:11,12

 

I can say with certainty that this is true for me. It took a long time. Many years of moving forward experiencing fountains of joy but always bearing the scars of living in a broken world. More grief and pain would cross my path, as is the way of life, and days that felt heavier than that day we lost Isaac. But I was different. I held on to His promise of infinite love for me and I still do.

 

That is my anchor when the storm winds toss me around. This knowing of His infinite love for me is a part of me now, just as I know there will be air to fill my lungs with my next breath and the breath after that, I know He will never let me go.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac

 

I heard you again today.

 

As the wind whispered past my ear,

soft laughter...a chime.

 

And I felt you.

A small hand grasping mine.

Soft, trusting.

 

Your locks catching gold and darker hues

in the shifting light

lifting, dancing in the breeze.

 

Your face turned to mine,

your eyes full of questioning...

your smile light.

 

but I'm afraid to speak,

my heart catches and my breath pauses...

a moment...you're gone.

 

I said a prayer...

and I wait...

my child.

 

 

 

This moment happened on an autumn day as I walked alone up my driveway to the house. I heard a sound, I felt something in my hand and I looked down and there he was, a small child.Time seemed to stand still and then he was gone. Nothing like it had ever happened to me before. It felt like a promise and I wrote it down and pondered it in my heart. Several months later I would learn I was pregnant with Isaac and then he was gone. During my grief I found this in my journal and it comforted me.

 

Compassion in Focus

I wonder what the neighborhood must have been thinking while they watched us from behind their curtains or from their porches as we knocked on people's doors. Three white people obviously on the wrong side of the tracks. "What possible reason could they have to be walking down their street? Didn't they know where they were?"

Yes, we did. We knew exactly where we were and we wanted to be there. We made a strange trio I'm sure. A 41 year old home schooling mom. A twenty-something computer programmer wearing a cool, retro style hipster cap. And a 15 year old home schooled teenager who towered over everyone there. We didn't exactly blend in. We must have looked like we were lost or selling something or with the IRS.

The House of Dreams and the Paddocks at the Free Yard Sale
our group Focus3 helped them with last month.
Some of the residents remembered us from that rainy day.

We were visiting houses in the neighborhood of the House of Dreams (The Dream Campaign) where Glen and Morgan Paddock serve the youth in the neighborhood and the people there with a message of hope and inspire the kids (and their parents) to dream. The neighborhood is a mixture of  run down homes most of which wouldn't pass COA regulations if inspected, a few small businesses, and artsy SCAD students.  A number of the residents were born in their homes over 80 years ago. Many are the working poor just struggling to keep the rotted roof over their head. And some are drug dealers and prostitutes. There's the crack house on the corner and the alley where business transactions are made in the light of day just a few yards from the newly installed basketball court at the House of Dreams where the neighborhood kids are starting to hang out.

We had been going door to door asking the residents if we could help them with any tangible needs they had like yard work or home repairs that could be done in an afternoon. Our church is pulling together the necessary resources for Compassion Day in a couple of months and we needed to find out what the specific needs were. We also were hoping to find 'persons of peace'(Luke 10:6). People in the neighborhood who would be an influence in their community.

Every time we knocked on a door we were greeted with skepticism and suspicion. With a crack house around the corner the law abiding residents had good reason to be concerned when strangers knocked on their doors. But once we shook hands and explained why we were their they very often breathed a sigh of relief. They often didn't know what to say. "How can you help me?" It seemed obvious to my friend Kyle, my son Nathan and me when we looked at their homes but perhaps they weren't used to someone wanting to help them. Or maybe it was that their need is so overwhelming they don't know where to start.



Miss Sunny was more concerned
for her 98 year neighbor
than for her own home.

And sometimes they were like Miss Sunny* who was far more concerned that we come back to talk to her 98 year old neighbor who was at church. "Her roof is leaking bad and her grandson is trying to get help from the city." I looked at Miss Sunny and her husband Ray* standing on their decaying porch with the 50 year old asbestos siding peeling off their house because of their water rotted roof and the squirrels living in their attic. She had recently lost her job but was a hair dresser by trade and she knew the Paddocks because the House of Dreams was the only safe place her son could play. This family's needs were shouting at me but she cared more about her neighbor getting help.

We continued on energized by our visit with Miss Sunny & Ray but most people weren't home or didn't answer their doors. It was getting a bit discouraging because we wanted to help the people there but who could blame them for being wary of us.

Then there was Miss Maggie* who's house was immaculate and well cared for. We asked her to keep an eye out for her neighbors needs and to let us know if she thought of a way we could help. Then she mentioned that she had just buried her father the day before. I know what it's like to bury a father. I asked if we could pray for her and she gladly let us. We prayed together on the porch thanking God for her father's life and thanking Him for being our comfort and strength. We hugged each other and as we walked away I felt the eyes of the neighborhood watching us make our way down the street.

A small group of men were hanging out in the middle of the street outside of the crack house. As we approached them I watched an elderly man dressed in church clothes step out onto his porch and watch us warily. He lived across the street from the crack house and looked like he could be one of the neighborhood 'elders'.  I smiled at him and we introduced ourselves. Mr. Williams* was very suspicious, almost hostile. "Who are you with?" When I mentioned the Paddocks he softened....a bit. He spoke of the good work they do and that Glen is the 'real deal'.  By the time we said good bye he was smiling but he was still assessing us.

We waved good-bye and went straight across the street to talk to the men outside the crack house. There was an old man sitting on the porch who appeared to be high and two younger men in the street. One man about my age started to walk away and the tattooed young man shifted his eyes and shuffled his feet trying not to make eye contact with me. Mr. Williams stayed on his porch watching us with a serious look on his face. I wondered what he must have been thinking. Did he think we didn't know these guys were drug dealers?

I stuck out my hand to the young man who was probably just a couple years older than my sons, "Hi, I'm Heather." He was clearly uncomfortable and reluctantly took my hand mumbling something. The old man said, "Hello!" loudly from the porch and the other guy started flirting with me as he was walking away down the street. Being a transplanted Yankee I knew how to let that roll off my back and greeted him back with a confidence that must have communicated I wasn't intimidated (even though I was). I explained why were there and asked if they knew of any needs among their neighbors that we could help with. The young guy didn't know what to say but the old man started talking about a church down the street that needed help with it's steeple. "I got baptized there," he told me with a smile as he looked at me through glassy eyes. The irony didn't escape me.Then something incredible happened.

Mr. Williams stepped off his porch and joined our conversation from his curb. He didn't step into the street with us but he started talking about what a great thing the Paddocks were doing for their neighborhood. I got the feeling that this friendly exchange was not the usual interchange between these neighbors.  I suspected most of the communication between these men was a hostile tolerance of the other's presence. Mr. Williams became more animated and warm as he talked about the good we were doing and how it was needed. The young tattooed drug dealer became more uncomfortable and the high old man on the porch agreed with Mr. Williams.  The entire moment felt surreal. What was happening?  And then Mr. Williams stepped past the invisible barrier into the street with us. I realized what was happening, this was a moment of peace. Could Mr. Williams be person of peace?

Our conversation drew to a close and we encouraged the men at the crack house to let us know if they could think of a way we could help their neighbors. Mr. Williams stood there for a moment, smiling, then went home and watched us from his porch. As we walked a way a car pulled up and a business transaction took place between the tattooed young man and the driver. Life seemed to return to normal.

But something had happened in that moment when Mr. Williams crossed that curb and joined us in the street with the drug dealer and his customers.  It was as if the spiritual atmosphere shifted in that exchange of peace. Immediately after that encounter we found two more people of peace. Miss Edna* who works in the school system and asked how she could help mentor or tutor the neighborhood youth. Miss Anne* offered to mobilize the women of the street to identify the needs of their neighbors.  It was what we had prayed for, that God would lead us to people of peace who would open their hearts to bring His transforming hope to their community.


Miss Anne's rotting windows.
She wants to tutor youth in her neighborhood.

We walked back up the street to the House of Dreams waving and smiling at the neighbors we had met. They smiled and waved back. Life went on as it had before we arrived but their was something new in the neighborhood. A seed of hope is growing.

*Names have been changed.

Our family is in a mentorship that culminates with a trip to serve Yemeni refugees in Michigan. Leave a comment if you would like to know more about our trip or if you  feel lead to support our fundraising you can go to this link http://www.sccgo.com/give/support-a-trip/ Scroll down to Go Focus, sign in as guest or as yourself (if you want to claim it as a tax deduction), then select my name from the drop down menu. Thank you for helping us choose compassion!