One Bite at a Time: 3 Tips for Preparing your Teen for College

A Monday night in our house: The rants. The tears. The fist shaking defiantly at the heavens.

And that's just me! Oh friend, hear me. Oh fellow parent on the road to releasing independent young adults (who will only return to visit), learn from me and what I could have done sooner if only I had listened to my own advice to other parents and students.

If you want to avoid the meltdowns that can come with getting your child accustomed  to the expectations of college professors than heed my call!

In this brave new world of increased access to dual enrollment more and more high schoolers are starting college early while still in high school. This can be a great opportunity but it's important to remember that they are taking bonafide college classes that count towards their permanent college transcript. Dual enrolling can help students transition to college life but it can be a very bumpy road if students are not prepared with some basic organizational life skills.

Here are my 3 Tips born out of the blood, sweat and tears of my own parenting experience and from teaching my students at EAL.

1) Check Emails Daily!
237% of all college work is online (slight exaggeration). Get your teen an email account and have them get in this daily habit.

If they don't have reason to check their email yet then sign them up for an e-newsletter they can read every day such as a devotional or news alert (tip: if they don't already read the news then this is a good way to introduce them to it, turn it into an assignment if you must).  Or send them a daily chore/task reminder for home responsibilities.

College professors communicate almost entirely online. Same for college administrators. Homework assignments are posted on line and the students submit them online. Assigned reading and discussion groups are also online.

This is true of bosses and co-workers in the work place so learn how to do it now!

Paper is an endangered species! Rare is the professor who provides a comprehensive syllabus in paper form that details ALL of the assignments. Don't be that kid who didn't check their email after a Thursday class until Monday night and discovered they had assignments due the previous Friday that weren't mentioned in class or on the paper syllabus. (Insert rants and raised fists here.)

2) Get A Planner....for your student- not you.
Teach your teen how to plan their time and organize all of their responsibilities with a planner (a week at a glance may be best but pick one that has room to write in).

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College life is not predictable nor is it routine. Not like an 8-3, Monday- Friday class schedule. It can feel like that whip it carnival ride that flings your car in and out with no apparent rhyme or reason.

Help your child realize they need to budget their time and include time for travel, eating, rest, play, part time jobs, special interests (music, sports, etc.) in addition to class time and homework time.

• List all of their fixed personal responsibilities first (i.e. classes, practices, job, etc.) on the calendar. Include travel time.
• List fixed family and personal commitments (i.e. small group, church, dinners, etc.)
• List times of rest.
• Look at the available time left over and highlight it so they can see where they can do school work. Remind them they can fit some types of assignments into small windows of available time if they are intentional (i.e. waiting between class/practice, in the car if being driven, etc.)
• Evaluate if anything needs to scrapped or adjusted.

This way when they check their emails daily they know WHEN they can finish that assignment they didn't expect because they have a full handle on how their time is spent.

They may prefer a calendar app eventually but it will probably work better to start them with a hard copy to master these skills first.

Tip: Our family is all connected to the same electronic calendar (we use Outlook) and all of our phones and emails accounts receive alerts about appointments, prayer requests or anything we all need to know about.
 
3) Teach them how to be their own advocate.
In college (and dual enrollment) you are not going to be there for them to plead their case to a professor or administrator when they get sick, have a computer crisis that prevents them from doing work or a learning disability that needs an accommodation.

Encourage them now to talk to and email their high school teachers, coaches, mentors or other adults who have authority in their life.

Put the responsibility for getting their work done, organizing their day, solving scheduling or assignment conflicts on them.

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Guide them with suggestions for how to think through and solve every day problems of life. Share with them how you work through logistical conflicts so they know how to do it themselves.

If they have learning disabilities be sure to help them learn how to navigate the special needs department at their college and how to talk about what they need.

Preparing ourselves to be parents of young adults is as hard as it is to prepare our teens to be independent, responsible adults but you can do it!


Heather Flood has been homeschooling her 3 minions since 2003. She writes curriculum for Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning and is the director/history teacher of the satellite campus in Rincon, GA. She has been teaching other peoples children since 2004. When not hanging out with kids and teenagers she can be found with her husband assisting adults pursuing hope for their future at their non-profit ministry Hope Academy of Savannah. And drinking coffee...lots and lots of coffee.

One Bite at a Time: 3 Tips for Teaching Auditory Learners

"Jehoshaphat, how can you do your home work with those ear buds in your ears?"

"Marigold, can you please stop talking for two minutes?"

"Angus, Why can't you go read a book?!"

These are just some examples of exasperation from parents of auditory learners. It's likely the moms or dads exclaiming questions like these are not auditory learners* themselves and, probably just as likely, Mom or Dad are visual learners. When visual learning teachers communicate with auditory learners it can often feel as if they are speaking different languages without an interpreter. Today I'll attempt to be your interpreter with at least these three common frustrations.

Q: How can you possibly learn with all that 'noise'?
A: How can they learn without it? If auditory learners are stopped from learning through stimulating their auditory senses (listening or speaking) then they will STOP LEARNING!

Let them listen to music while reading or working BUT it should be instrumental music or light on the lyrics.  Catchy phrases (i.e.- earworms) will create more of a distraction, especially for anyone with ADD.  One of my kids loves to listen to the sound tracks of video games like Kingdom Hearts or Zelda. Keep the volume low to create a 'white noise' or just loud enough to drown out other distractions in the house.

Another option is a soundscape app such as this one that creates ambient noise. This would be very effective for people with ADD or studying in an environment with distractions (can you say 'siblings').

Q: How can I get my child to stop talking all the time while I'm trying to teach her?
A: Don't stop her. Redirect her. Give her an outlet to talk about what she's learned.


History Study Group:They don't look
 like they are having fun but they are.

Little siblings come in handy if you can find one. Auditory learners will be able to reinforce what they've learned if they can talk about it by teaching someone else. Have them make a video or skit to summarize what they've learned. Do an oral report; just be sure to have an attentive audience or this won't work well.

Charlotte Mason's narration technique is fantastic for auditory learners. The child reflects back to the parent what they have learned by telling you everything they remember about what they just learned whether that is cuttlefish, pharaohs or Wilbur from Charlotte's Web. Use critical reading questions from your curriculum as a leaping off point.

Learn Out Loud! Join or start a study group. This is a huge boon for teenagers. The energy of being with a couple of other kids and the discussion based learning that results is just what they need. Reading out loud together and discussing the assignment energizes an auditory learner.

Q: Reading assignments result in World War 3 in my house. How can I make my child read more?

A: Have them read less.  Seems counter intuitive but find as many resources as you can to reduce and augment reading with listening. (For more about cultivating reading follow the link to my blog post.)

Use audio books BUT have them read along with the hard copy whenever possible. Older students should read along while listening AND take notes as they read in their book highlighting important information (this pairs their secondary style of visual or tactile with their auditory and reinforces their reading skills).  Audible (a subscription service) and Librivox (free auditory books in the public domain) are my 'go to' tools. Libraries often have audio books but you can run into availability issues. My dyslexic daughter has re-read most of the audio books we purchased with our subscription which delights this mama and now she reads for fun without the audio books and reads most of her textbooks (albeit slower).

Watch documentaries. Isn't that visual? Actually it's both. If your child is an auditory learner they can likely recite to you the entire dialogue from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope without hesitating.  Whenever possible I supplement our studies with documentaries from Netflix and YouTube.

These are just a few bite sized nuggets for tweaking how you teach your auditory learner. I would love to hear your own tips, tricks and trade secrets for teaching according to learning styles so be sure to comment. You can also check out my Pinterest board "Eclectic Learning Styles".

*RESOURCES:  There are lots of tips for teaching an auditory learner found on the internet and in great resources available about learning styles. Identifying my children's learning styles and teaching them accordingly has reduced the level of stress in my home and resulted in REAL learning. A popular book about learning styles is The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias. If you want real world suggestions for teaching different learning styles I recommend Jill Dixon's Concise Learning Style's Assessment or POC4U (includes assessments, tips AND suggestions for curriculum matched to learning styles).  POC4U saved me time, money and my sanity. No joke.

One Bite At A Time: Teaching Financial Responsiblity

I remember vividly the First Hawaiian Bank in Lahaina; I can tell you the colors of the carpet, walls and the layout of the branch. I was 5 years old the first time I went and even now I can feel the little menehune* savings passbook in my sticky fingers which contained the magical numbers representing my account balance. I remember feeling 'grown up' every time we went to deposit my grandparents' birthday check. Mom unintentionally demystified money for me while creating an excitement for saving every time she brought me to the bank. I also remember vividly the hollow feeling in my stomach 13 years later when I held a bank certified check to pay for my first semester's tuition at my local college. It was satisfying to have saved up that much money but I felt a little sick seeing how quickly it went away. My mom had done three bite size things to teach me financial responsibility: have a savings account and how to use a bank, set small and large savings goals, and open my own checking account.

Pre-School/Elementary Age: Open a savings account with your child. Bring them to the bank and go inside to make a deposit when possible (little kids think money comes from the 'magic wall') for a more tangible experience. At some point, when it's slow and if you have time, talk with the bank employees about one of your child's money questions.

Middle School Age: Encourage your child to set a short term savings goal (iTunes gift card or spending money for summer camp) and an achievable long term savings goal (a bike, I-pod, game console, camera). We had our kids look for opportunities to make money from other sources than the Bank of Mom  & Dad.  Lemonade stands (big success for my kids), lawn work for neighbors, helping friends who are small business owners and mother's helper are all things my kids have done. We also were up front about how much we were willing to contribute when certain goals were met.

High School Age: At 14 and 15 we opened checking accounts for our boys with debit cards. This teaches the basics of spending, how to use a bank, and avoiding over spending (over drafts). We have lots of conversations about spending and having a buffer (not spending everything you have). I didn't do this until my third year in college and am glad my boys will have 'mastered' the management of  a bank account before they go off on their own where the consequences of mistakes have greater ramifications.

What bite sized nuggets have worked in your family to teach financial responsibility?

*menehune is a small mythical Polynesian being usu. pictured as a dwarf living in the mountains and working at night as a stone builder (www.merriam-webster.com)