A Monday night in our house: The rants. The tears. The fist shaking defiantly at the heavens.
And that's just me! Oh friend, hear me. Oh fellow parent on the road to releasing independent young adults (who will only return to visit), learn from me and what I could have done sooner if only I had listened to my own advice to other parents and students.
If you want to avoid the meltdowns that can come with getting your child accustomed to the expectations of college professors than heed my call!
In this brave new world of increased access to dual enrollment more and more high schoolers are starting college early while still in high school. This can be a great opportunity but it's important to remember that they are taking bonafide college classes that count towards their permanent college transcript. Dual enrolling can help students transition to college life but it can be a very bumpy road if students are not prepared with some basic organizational life skills.
Here are my 3 Tips born out of the blood, sweat and tears of my own parenting experience and from teaching my students at EAL.
1) Check Emails Daily!
237% of all college work is online (slight exaggeration). Get your teen an email account and have them get in this daily habit.
If they don't have reason to check their email yet then sign them up for an e-newsletter they can read every day such as a devotional or
news alert (tip: if they don't already read the news then this is a good way to introduce them to it, turn it into an assignment if you must). Or send them a daily chore/task reminder for home responsibilities.
College professors communicate almost entirely online. Same for college administrators. Homework assignments are posted on line and the students submit them online. Assigned reading and discussion groups are also online.
This is true of bosses and co-workers in the work place so learn how to do it now!
Paper is an endangered species! Rare is the professor who provides a comprehensive syllabus in paper form that details ALL of the assignments. Don't be that kid who didn't check their email after a Thursday class until Monday night and discovered they had assignments due the previous Friday that weren't mentioned in class or on the paper syllabus. (Insert rants and raised fists here.)
2) Get A Planner....for your student- not you.
Teach your teen how to plan their time and organize all of their responsibilities with a planner (a week at a glance may be best but pick one that has room to write in).
College life is not predictable nor is it routine. Not like an 8-3, Monday- Friday class schedule. It can feel like that whip it carnival ride that flings your car in and out with no apparent rhyme or reason.
Help your child realize they need to budget their time and include time for travel, eating, rest, play, part time jobs, special interests (music, sports, etc.) in addition to class time and homework time.
- List all of their fixed personal responsibilities first (i.e. classes, practices, job, etc.) on the calendar. Include travel time.
- List fixed family and personal commitments (i.e. small group, church, dinners, etc.)
- List times of rest.
- Look at the available time left over and highlight it so they can see where they can do school work. Remind them they can fit some types of assignments into small windows of available time if they are intentional (i.e. waiting between class/practice, in the car if being driven, etc.)
- Evaluate if anything needs to scrapped or adjusted.
This way when they check their emails daily they know WHEN they can finish that assignment they didn't expect because they have a full handle on how their time is spent.
They may prefer a calendar app eventually but it will probably work better to start them with a hard copy to master these skills first.
Tip: Our family is all connected to the same electronic calendar (we use Outlook) and all of our phones and emails accounts receive alerts about appointments, prayer requests or anything we all need to know about.
3) Teach them how to be their own advocate.
In college (and dual enrollment) you are not going to be there for them to plead their case to a professor or administrator when they get sick, have a computer crisis that prevents them from doing work or a learning disability that needs an accommodation.
Encourage them now to talk to and email their high school teachers, coaches, mentors or other adults who have authority in their life.
Put the responsibility for getting their work done, organizing their day, solving scheduling or assignment conflicts on them.
Guide them with suggestions for how to think through and solve every day problems of life. Share with them how you work through logistical conflicts so they know how to do it themselves.
If they have learning disabilities be sure to help them learn how to navigate the
special needs department at their college and how to talk about what they need.
Preparing ourselves to be parents of young adults is as hard as it is to prepare our teens to be independent, responsible adults but you can do it!
Heather Flood has been homeschooling her 3 minions since 2003. She writes curriculum for Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning and is the director/history teacher of the satellite campus in Rincon, GA. She has been teaching other peoples children since 2004. When not hanging out with kids and teenagers she can be found with her husband assisting adults pursuing hope for their future at their non-profit ministry Hope Academy of Savannah. And drinking coffee...lots and lots of coffee.
been asked by a 4 year old if we were from DFCS when we went to pick her mama up for class.
played make believe phone with a toddler and heard them say to their Sesame Street phone, "who got shot?"
helped a homeless man find stable housing.
experienced the joy of helping a poor, single mom of 4 realize she is going to get her high school diploma.
tutored a single mom so she can provide a stable home and change the course of her children's life.
To learn more about Hope Academy or how you can impact downtown Savannah one life at a time contact Brian Flood at bflood56@outlook.com.
