Hope is....no strings attached.

Sometimes unpleasant things sneak into my heart and take up residence without me knowing.

I don't know why I'm surprised when I turn the corner and find them there but I am. They are kinda like cockroaches. You don't always see them but if you live in the south you know they aren't ever that far away. You turn on the light in the middle of the night or you open the garage door and suddenly one is scurrying past your foot.

It's always gross and if it happens in front of a guest it is always embarrassing.

Recently I was startled to discover an attitude of pride and expectation had moved in temporarily. Not cool temporary visitors like backpackers in a European hostile. More like cockroaches that need to be stepped on before they breed.

It was bound to happen. By nature what we do in our ministry is complicated. Tangled. Messy. When you spend your days in urban ministry you find yourself in a position to 'do for' people which can be a dangerous place to be.

Dangerous because you can slip into a role of a provider instead of a facilitator. Shift from being a fellow traveler to a tour guide. When that happens it's a short trip to pride and unwarranted expectation. False ownership.

False ownership? I liken it to the opposite of entitlement (when the other person feels they have a right to my help). Or perhaps a near cousin. It's when I believe I have rights and control over what belongs to someone else. It happens when I have helped a person out and they don't do what I think they should with that help. At that moment a pseudo-righteous indignation rises up in me and says, 'Hey! I did that for you and now you aren't holding up your end of the bargain! You're supposed to make better choices  because I did this for you.'

Perhaps that sounds reasonable to you and it is definitely a natural feeling. But at the heart of it resides a lie. The lie says 'I did this for you.' That's where I mess up and it's also when I leave the door open for those disgusting cockroaches to sneak in to my heart.

Jesus said when you do this for the least of these you do it for me. When I make the mistake of 'doing for' someone instead of serving Jesus first then I'm already going down the wrong path. 

I don't help people because they need help.
I don't help people because I can fix them.
I don't help people because I have something they need.

No. What I do is I love Jesus.

I love Jesus when I feed someone.
I love Jesus when I clothe someone.
I love Jesus when I give someone a ride to a job interview.
I love Jesus when I share a meal with someone no one wants to eat with.
I love Jesus when I listen to someone no one wants to listen to.
I love Jesus when I teach someone to read or help someone with their homework.

I love Jesus. Period.

What happens after that is between Jesus and whomever I have loved in His name.

I don't own that. He does.
 

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’

^37-40 “Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’

Matthew 25:36-40




Brian and Heather Flood are full time missionaries in downtown Savannah. They are the founders and directors of Hope Academy in Savannah, GA. Hope exists to partner with adults in their adult education needs and to help them discover and achieve their life purpose.To learn more about Hope Academy or how you can impact downtown Savannah one life at a time contact Brian Flood at bflood56@outlook.com.

Visit them on Facebook or at www.hopeacademysavannah.com or to donate and Share Hope with a Student go to their Go Fund Me page, www.gofundme.com/hopeacademysav .

 

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One Bite at a Time: 3 Tips for Preparing your Teen for College

A Monday night in our house: The rants. The tears. The fist shaking defiantly at the heavens.

And that's just me! Oh friend, hear me. Oh fellow parent on the road to releasing independent young adults (who will only return to visit), learn from me and what I could have done sooner if only I had listened to my own advice to other parents and students.

If you want to avoid the meltdowns that can come with getting your child accustomed  to the expectations of college professors than heed my call!

In this brave new world of increased access to dual enrollment more and more high schoolers are starting college early while still in high school. This can be a great opportunity but it's important to remember that they are taking bonafide college classes that count towards their permanent college transcript. Dual enrolling can help students transition to college life but it can be a very bumpy road if students are not prepared with some basic organizational life skills.

Here are my 3 Tips born out of the blood, sweat and tears of my own parenting experience and from teaching my students at EAL.

1) Check Emails Daily!
237% of all college work is online (slight exaggeration). Get your teen an email account and have them get in this daily habit.

If they don't have reason to check their email yet then sign them up for an e-newsletter they can read every day such as a devotional or news alert (tip: if they don't already read the news then this is a good way to introduce them to it, turn it into an assignment if you must).  Or send them a daily chore/task reminder for home responsibilities.

College professors communicate almost entirely online. Same for college administrators. Homework assignments are posted on line and the students submit them online. Assigned reading and discussion groups are also online.

This is true of bosses and co-workers in the work place so learn how to do it now!

Paper is an endangered species! Rare is the professor who provides a comprehensive syllabus in paper form that details ALL of the assignments. Don't be that kid who didn't check their email after a Thursday class until Monday night and discovered they had assignments due the previous Friday that weren't mentioned in class or on the paper syllabus. (Insert rants and raised fists here.)

2) Get A Planner....for your student- not you.
Teach your teen how to plan their time and organize all of their responsibilities with a planner (a week at a glance may be best but pick one that has room to write in).

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College life is not predictable nor is it routine. Not like an 8-3, Monday- Friday class schedule. It can feel like that whip it carnival ride that flings your car in and out with no apparent rhyme or reason.

Help your child realize they need to budget their time and include time for travel, eating, rest, play, part time jobs, special interests (music, sports, etc.) in addition to class time and homework time.

• List all of their fixed personal responsibilities first (i.e. classes, practices, job, etc.) on the calendar. Include travel time.
• List fixed family and personal commitments (i.e. small group, church, dinners, etc.)
• List times of rest.
• Look at the available time left over and highlight it so they can see where they can do school work. Remind them they can fit some types of assignments into small windows of available time if they are intentional (i.e. waiting between class/practice, in the car if being driven, etc.)
• Evaluate if anything needs to scrapped or adjusted.

This way when they check their emails daily they know WHEN they can finish that assignment they didn't expect because they have a full handle on how their time is spent.

They may prefer a calendar app eventually but it will probably work better to start them with a hard copy to master these skills first.

Tip: Our family is all connected to the same electronic calendar (we use Outlook) and all of our phones and emails accounts receive alerts about appointments, prayer requests or anything we all need to know about.
 
3) Teach them how to be their own advocate.
In college (and dual enrollment) you are not going to be there for them to plead their case to a professor or administrator when they get sick, have a computer crisis that prevents them from doing work or a learning disability that needs an accommodation.

Encourage them now to talk to and email their high school teachers, coaches, mentors or other adults who have authority in their life.

Put the responsibility for getting their work done, organizing their day, solving scheduling or assignment conflicts on them.

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Guide them with suggestions for how to think through and solve every day problems of life. Share with them how you work through logistical conflicts so they know how to do it themselves.

If they have learning disabilities be sure to help them learn how to navigate the special needs department at their college and how to talk about what they need.

Preparing ourselves to be parents of young adults is as hard as it is to prepare our teens to be independent, responsible adults but you can do it!


Heather Flood has been homeschooling her 3 minions since 2003. She writes curriculum for Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning and is the director/history teacher of the satellite campus in Rincon, GA. She has been teaching other peoples children since 2004. When not hanging out with kids and teenagers she can be found with her husband assisting adults pursuing hope for their future at their non-profit ministry Hope Academy of Savannah. And drinking coffee...lots and lots of coffee.