Moving Stones: Intentionality Prevents Stress-...suggestions for preparing for next year now

---

We're all pretty full of Spring around here and counting the nanoseconds to the last day of school. Maybe you're feeling burnt out or have the April Blahs like I did. Here's a blog I wrote about overcoming burn out last week and below are some tips our family uses for preventing burn out next year.

 

This was written for the families at Jill Dixon's Eclectic Academy of Learning but I believe the principles in most steps are applicable to everyone. (Don't have an EAL in your area? You can start one! Find out here.)

Suggestions- Getting ready for the new school year:

Starting the year with a plan will alleviate stress and make it clear to the child (and the parent) what success looks like so they feel empowered to succeed instead of trying to hit a moving target blind folded faced in the opposite direction.

This clip art is what I wished I looked like when I'm stressed out but alas,
I am neither that svelte or that fashionable. And look at her hair! Fabulous.
But I do make a mess like she is so that's something, right?

I hope these suggestions will relieve you of some stress as the new school year looms and you evaluate how the past year has gone. Taking a few minutes to write down a simple plan has been a great help to me. This looks different in each home. For highly organized, structured people it may look like a power point presentation with handouts and a spread sheet. For others it's a quickly scratched 'to do' list posted on the fridge with coffee stains on it.  I am an organizationally challenged, undiagnosed ADD Mom and recovering procrastinator. This means I'm very creative and flexible but I need some structural parameters to help guide me and my kids even in my relaxed home environment. It has made a big difference in helping me enjoy my summer and start the new year with confidence.

Step 1: Begin purchasing books from the book list(s) as soon as possible to insure availability and best price on used book sites. Try to have all books purchased by July 4th as prices will spike and availability lessens.

Step 2: Attend Learning Styles Workshop with middle school/high school students for learning styles assessment and interactive training to maximize teaching and learning at home with the EAL program. Date TBA in June. (Not in the Savannah area? You can do this at home with Jill Dixon's Concise Learning Styles Assessment.) Not only will your child maximize their learning potential but you may eliminate key areas of frustration in your homeschool by teaching to your child's strengths. This one thing may be the most effective change I made in my home school.

Step 3: Begin purchasing supplies and uniforms. Keep an eye out during the summer for emails from EAL teachers about suggested summer preparations for the school year.

Nothing gets kids excited like seeing
a bird poop on mom's head.

Step 4: Create excitement for the coming year's study by interacting with the history period before the school year begins by watching good movies, visiting area attractions, reading good books about the time period that are NOT on the booklist. Prepare a list of supplemental area activities to enhance your study during the year. Decide if any other subjects can be incorporated into the unit study (ie- science lessons that coincide with history figures such as Ben Franklin or Eli Whitney, etc.).

Step 5: Decide what your main goals are (no more than 5 at a time, 3 for younger children) for each child for the academic year and discuss them with your child. These should be specific goals with a clear explanation of 'success' for the child. This way you and your child have clear, realistic expectations to refer to as your guide during the year.  After you've made up your goals set them aside for a day or two then revisit them to make sure they are realistic. As the goals are reached new goals can be added as the achieved skills have become established routines and are removed from the list. It helps to have a reward system to encourage these goals (even grown ups perform better at work with incentives).I've observed that rewarding small attainable goals with small rewards works best to keep momentum going for the long term goals and larger rewards**. 

 

Examples of clear goals may include:

- completing all assigned writing steps in Write With The Best every week 

- working independently on a specific subject (ie- Grammar) first before asking mom for help 

- practicing math facts, study skills or SAT skills every day for 10-15 minutes

- coming up with and executing a time management study plan for all weekly assignments

 

 

Examples of small rewards for a job well done (hint: identify your child's 'currency'*)
- 15 minutes of screen time

- choice of book for family reading time

- a walk around the neighborhood or play time with Mom or Dad outside

- pick of that night's Red Box rental

- blue slushy from the local convenience store

- choice of dinner or desert

- community service card (doesn't have to do a chore)

 

Examples of big rewards for consistency over a longer time period (a week, 2 weeks, etc. Should correspond developmentally with your child)

- choice of next family outing (given guidelines by parents)

- money or gift card for subscription services like video games or iTunes

- new book or other item the child has been waiting for

- special dinner at home to celebrate the achievement

- money towards a large goal like camp or item they are saving up for

- friend fun night at your house

- time out with Mom & Dad and no siblings

 

I hope these suggestions help you as you wrap up this school year and prepare for the next. The goal in our house is progress-not perfection- and having a plan helps us through out the year when we find ourselves overwhelmed and need to reboot.

 

**Our family uses a reward program we started after completing a special 15 week program called Second Step at Savannah Child Study Center several years ago for our son with Asperger's. There are very specific steps and a structure which was very helpful for two ADD parents raising attention challenged kids. One of these days I will write more about the rewards and about the program. If your child has Asperger's, Autism, ADD, or emotional management issues then I cannot recommend enough the program at SCSC with Bonnie Craven. My 17 year old son would tell you that program was the most effective therapy we ever participated in and changed his life.  I truly thank God for leading our family there.

 

Moving Stones: The April Blahs....overcoming burnout and finishing the year strong

Is this you? You may have the April Blahs.

Years ago a sage, old woman laughingly told me, "I think God removes all memories of labor pains after we give birth. That way we won't let that stop us from having more babies."

This week I came to the realization that this is true of other challenging experiences that produce beautiful fruit including homeschooling. Every year I begin homeschooling again in August I am filled with anticipation and excitement. As the year progresses that euphoria changes and I think to myself on hard days, "Just wait till April, it will be (insert positive adjective that is the opposite of the struggle I am feeling that day)."

Somehow I have created this Utopian illusion that April is easier. I don't know where I got this idea but it has been there every year, "Just wait until April...."

Here's what I've realized: April is HARD! Every year April rolls around and I am mentally exhausted. And I know I'm not the only one. I keep running into bleary eyed and discouraged moms who have the April blahs.

April is when we are mentally assessing how the year has gone for each of our children in their education as well as other areas of their lives we are responsible for shepherding. We are also looking ahead to the coming 'new year' and making decisions that involve course corrections, continuing what 'ain't broken' and adding the next steps for each of our children in their journey.

We're tired and everyone has Spring Fever. The weather is beautiful and beckons to us to traipse through creation's wonders while the end of year wrap up calls us back to our 'desks'. Our kids have lost their minds with scholastic exhaustion and typical childlikeness so they are all for jumping ship and at times that seems like a really good idea.

So what are we to do?

I don't have all the answers but these are some things I do.

1) Reboot!
Sometimes my computer needs a system reboot and I have to clean out the creepy crawlies that have attached themselves to my operating system. I remind myself of the vision that has been given to me to fulfill for this school year. I re-examine it and remind myself of what the long term goals are for each of my children. This means I may toss out a few 'good' things that have gotten in the way of our goals. There are lots of opportunities that come my way that are 'good' but if they don't line up with my big goals then I sacrifice them. By doing this I am able to then focus on what are the most important things and help my family get back on track.

I also look back at the 5 R's of Homeschooling Jill Dixon talks about:

• Relationship with my God, my spouse, my children
• REAL learning
• Reading real books and learning to analyze them
• wRiting to communicate critical thinking
• aRithmetic goals for our family are mastery of the foundations

2)Refresh!
Do something to fill your tanks! I know I just said 'cast aside good things' if they don't meet the goals I have but one of those goals is joy filled learning. If a special opportunity shows up that truly will fill us with joy and not just be one more distraction then I will go for it.

REAL Learning means sometimes letting go of lesson plans.
 

An example was last week. We are currently learning about the Renaissance and Explorers. The replicas of Columbus' ships sailed into town. That day I 'threw out' our lessons for REAL learning.  We went on a field trip with other families because it would reinforce what we were learning as well as give both the kids and I a chance to enjoy the outdoors and our friends. We came home feeling revived from being with good friends and experiencing a unique, serendipitous moment that excited us about our studies.

The rest of the week I determined what academic lessons were the most important according to our goals and excused a couple of small things. This week there are other opportunities I'm saying 'no' to because we said 'yes' last week. There is a balance my kids need to learn between experiencing joyful learning and practicing the skills that will support their ability to pursue life (ie- meeting deadlines, research skills, communication skills in writing, etc.).  To have only 'fun' or only 'work' is not balance and not a realistic preparation for their lives.

3)Recalibrate!
It is also important for me to spend time refreshing my mind and my spirit. The business of life takes over and the most important things that actually keep me on the healthy path get cast aside. Recalibration doesn't have to take long but it does require intentional choices of how I spend my time, who I spend time with and what thoughts I dwell on.

I am currently saying 'yes' to being with people who will add to my mind and spirit and 'no' to what will drag me down. I think based on what is in my heart therefore
I need to examine what I am putting there and what influences I am allowing in my life. This takes discipline but even 15-20 minutes of praying, reading and worshiping alone daily or 20 minutes visiting with a friend who builds me up results in recalibrating my mind.

Sometimes this recalibration means rethinking solutions to problems. I delegate things to other people or I partner with other moms to come up with a solution to a roadblock (ie- working with other moms to find a way to teach things I struggle with like science or forming a study group to make an appointment for my family to learn which results in greater productivity).

We can't toss out all the things in our life that create stress or worry but we can adjust how we approach them.

In the end I have to remember I was called by Him to live life abundantly. His yoke is easy and his burden is light....as long as I follow close to him and stop trying to do this life thing on my own.

Want more tips on preventing the April Blahs and stress next year? Check my suggestions for preparing for next year now.