Re-gifting

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

 

Sometimes we can look at our lives and think, “What do I have to give? My past? It’s a mess. My present?  Well, it certainly doesn’t look anything like I had planned. How can anything good come of this?”  Or maybe we say, “What qualifications do I have? What in my life could possibly be used by God? There’s nothing special about me. How can I make a difference?” It seems like a logical conclusion. But sometimes we need to shift our perspective. Sometimes the things we see as valueless or even undesirable are actually the very thing God will transform into a gift.

It was my third Christmas and our family had been turned upside down.  Mom and Dad were divorced and my mom’s teenage sister Cheryl was living with us to help her out. We were living half way around the world in Hawaii far from Mom’s family in Connecticut.  The divorce and all the drama that came with it hit my mom hard after her own childhood of abuse, neglect and addiction. A broken, impoverished family was exactly what she did not want to give her daughter for Christmas.

Pictures of her at that time show a 24 year old woman beaten up by life but bravely putting on a smile for her little girl.  The most ‘telling’ picture of that time shows a disheveled preschooler leaning backwards from her mom’s lap as they get ready to swing high into the air on the playground swing set at Immanuel Lutheran Preschool in Wailuku. My upside down smile revealed my giddiness about having mom ‘at school’ with me.  Mom’s brilliant smile doesn’t reveal the despair that her emaciated body does; her collar bone and ribs protruded from beneath her bright red halter dress while her fragile arms and legs pumped with a strength that defied her body’s obvious decay.

 

That December in Hawaii my mom was working multiple waitressing jobs and always made sure the money from her and Dad went into my belly first and the mortgage was always paid.  Sometimes she would open her front door to find care packages of diapers and food left by Saint Nicholas’ elves in the neighborhood. It would be safe to say that calling things ‘tight’ was an understatement.

 

So what’s a broke, divorced twenty-four year waitress to do if she wants to give her curly haired wild child a memorable Christmas?  Enter my Aunt Cheryl.  The two sisters had grown up poor with an abusive alcoholic father and a waitress mother who worked herself to the bone to take care of her four children. They didn’t have anything growing up but poverty has its own unusual gifts to provide- creativity and ‘out of the box’ thinking. And they had a sewing machine. 

 

Mom set to work on turning scraps of fabric into a 6 foot tall patchwork raggedy kitty.  He had a pink triangle face and probably wasn’t really 6 feet tall but he was taller than me and I loved watching my mom work her magic on that sewing machine.  Yep, I saw him before Christmas.  Sneaky Mom told me she was making him for my buddy/nemesis Scotty who lived up the street.  To say I was bummed doesn’t even come close to the disappointment I felt.  I was mad.

 

 “How come Scotty gets the kitty?” I asked resentfully.  

“It’s for Christmas,” she replied without skipping a beat or a stitch. I wanted to storm out of the room but my desire to pet the kitty doll won out.  I thought he was the most beautiful kitty ever. See, Scotty had everything I didn’t. Nice house, lots of toys and a daddy who stayed at his house every night. I pet the kitty wistfully. Mom pumped her foot on the sewing machine pedal and smiled a secret smile.

 

Christmas Eve arrived and I was asleep in my bed. Mr. Kitty was wrapped and placed behind the tree. There wasn’t much else hidden beneath the gaudy tinsel and fat light bulb laden pine but Mom and Aunt Cheryl weren’t done tapping into their deep reserves of divine inspiration.  They set to work wrapping dozens of presents in cheap Christmas paper and newspaper funnies until the living room looked like Scarlet O’Hara’s dress exploded from underneath the Christmas tree.

 

Christmas morning dawned and squeals of delight erupted from me every time I tore open another present. There were dozens of them! And they were all for me. A toaster that looked just like the one in our cabinet! Coffee cups too! Pots and pans to match the ones in the kitchen! It was thrilling. I couldn’t wait to tear apart more paper and make a huge mess without getting into trouble for it. This Christmas thing was a blast. And the gifts kept coming until we ran out of household items.  Mom and Cheryl had succeeded in wrapping up almost the entire contents of the kitchen.  And I was thrilled. 

 

Then in a scene straight from the movie, “A Christmas Story” my mom asked, “What’s that behind the tree?” And there he was- Mr. Kitty! And he was mine! All mine! Too bad Scotty Killam! My mom made this giant kitty for me! It was….the best Christmas ever.

 

In James 1 it says: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;  8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.  9 The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.  10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.  11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.  12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.  …  16 Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.  17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

 

See, the truth is that God is the Master Re-gifter. He takes the mundane, the trivial, and the broken and re-gifts it to the world. In some ways we and our lives are not unlike the rejected toys on the Island of Misfit Toys. Where others would look at our brokenness and reject our mess, God says, “this- I can work with.” God says, “Every good and perfect gift comes from me, Your Father of Lights and I will gift you to the world. You are my first fruits that I chose and my truth will shine through you.” He bestows value on us through the very trials we often believe devalue or disqualify us. When we say yes to Him in our mess then we can expect a transformation. He will take the mundane toaster, the mismatched coffee cups, and even the frayed fabric scraps of our life and transform them into a good and perfect gift.

One Bite At A Time: Teaching Financial Responsiblity

I remember vividly the First Hawaiian Bank in Lahaina; I can tell you the colors of the carpet, walls and the layout of the branch. I was 5 years old the first time I went and even now I can feel the little menehune* savings passbook in my sticky fingers which contained the magical numbers representing my account balance. I remember feeling 'grown up' every time we went to deposit my grandparents' birthday check. Mom unintentionally demystified money for me while creating an excitement for saving every time she brought me to the bank. I also remember vividly the hollow feeling in my stomach 13 years later when I held a bank certified check to pay for my first semester's tuition at my local college. It was satisfying to have saved up that much money but I felt a little sick seeing how quickly it went away. My mom had done three bite size things to teach me financial responsibility: have a savings account and how to use a bank, set small and large savings goals, and open my own checking account.

Pre-School/Elementary Age: Open a savings account with your child. Bring them to the bank and go inside to make a deposit when possible (little kids think money comes from the 'magic wall') for a more tangible experience. At some point, when it's slow and if you have time, talk with the bank employees about one of your child's money questions.

Middle School Age: Encourage your child to set a short term savings goal (iTunes gift card or spending money for summer camp) and an achievable long term savings goal (a bike, I-pod, game console, camera). We had our kids look for opportunities to make money from other sources than the Bank of Mom  & Dad.  Lemonade stands (big success for my kids), lawn work for neighbors, helping friends who are small business owners and mother's helper are all things my kids have done. We also were up front about how much we were willing to contribute when certain goals were met.

High School Age: At 14 and 15 we opened checking accounts for our boys with debit cards. This teaches the basics of spending, how to use a bank, and avoiding over spending (over drafts). We have lots of conversations about spending and having a buffer (not spending everything you have). I didn't do this until my third year in college and am glad my boys will have 'mastered' the management of  a bank account before they go off on their own where the consequences of mistakes have greater ramifications.

What bite sized nuggets have worked in your family to teach financial responsibility?

*menehune is a small mythical Polynesian being usu. pictured as a dwarf living in the mountains and working at night as a stone builder (www.merriam-webster.com)

Shade garden

From my devotional reading today:
"The Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand." Psalm 121:5

There are ferns in the garden of the soul, as well as flowers.  The flowers grwo best in the sunshine, the ferns grow best in the shade.

There is the fern of Patience, and the fern of Long-Suffering, and the fern of Meekness.  And the Great Gardner of the soul delights in the ferns, and purposes to save them from destruction by the garish day.

And so He takes us into the shade - the shade of Disappointment, or the shade of Sorrow, or the shade of Sickness and Pain.  But it is a very blessed shadow, for it is the 'Shadow of the Almighty.' And here the ferns flourish and the cloudy day makes the garden beautiful. ~ J.H. Jowett

There cannot be shade without sunshine.  There is no night without day.  There are clear skies above the clouds.  Only he who has rested in the shade, kept the vigil through the night, or walked under the clouds can light the paths of others.~ M.T.

Taken from Streams in the Desert, Vol. 2 by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

This spoke to me today. Not because I am currently in the shade but because I have dwelled there for extended seasons. They are the seasons that brought me the deepest joy and satisfaction in the end. They are the seasons I am perhaps most grateful for above all others. It is where I came to know Jesus more intimately and received truth hidden from me perception.

Lazy Cook Chicken Orzo Soup

I love to eat. I hate to cook. I'm lazy. I'm frugal (a.k.a. cheap).
These four things are the impetus behind my recipe for Chicken Orzo soup. Soup is a pleasure but canned soup is expensive and not nearly as good as home made. I mentioned I'm lazy and cheap so when I cook it needs to be simple and affordable. There are ways to make this better (make your own broth from scratch for starters) but they require more work. There are ways to make this simpler (canned broth, rotisserie chicken or pre-cooked chicken) but they require more money.  This soup is flexible and responds well to many substitutions. My recipes resemble a grandmother's cooking style- a little of this, a handful of that, fill to the line in my pot. I know that's frustrating for a lot of people but this is a very forgiving recipe so do what looks right to you when you make it.

This might not seem very lazy at first but when you do it you realize how easy it is. And if I think of this as easy it must be because I truly am a lazy cook. My pallet and my wallet keep me from eating out or buying convenience foods.

My Preferred Method:
I use a 5 Quart Stock Pot usually.

Ingredients-
2 Chicken Breasts (on the bone, thawed)- usually goes on sale for round $1 a pound every month.
6 cups water with chicken base added to make broth (I use whatever brands are on sale- Better than Bouillon,  Orrington Farms Base & Broth Seasonings are my favorite)
Optional- salt water with sea salt, place peeled whole onion in water (yes- whole, not cut up. It's something my mother-in-law does with her mashed potatoes and adds tons of flavor so I do the same with my soup and cut it up after it's cooked at the end. No tears. I can also remove it if I have picky eaters who don't like onion texture.)
Boil chicken until cooked through.
Remove chicken (turn off burner, save broth) and remove from bone. Cut up into bite size pieces or shred depending on preference. Return to pot.

Season broth :
2 cloves garlic (I like mine sliced but you can chop or put in whole depending on flavor preference)
Fresh herbs if you have them (I put a handful of fresh basil, torn, when I have it)
OR 3 tsps. dried herbs (basil, oregano, and/or thyme)
OR 3 tsps. Italian Herb paste

Add:
1 cup orzo
1 cup (or more) carrots (I use 2-3 handfuls of baby carrots or almost a full pound of whole carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks)
If necessary, add more broth to above half way line in pot.

Cook: According to orzo package directions, usually 10 minutes.

Add:
2-3 cups vegetables cut into chucks. I use whatever I have in the house. My favorites include zucchini, yellow summer squash, green beans (fresh are best), bell peppers (I love using orange, yellow or red when they are on sale), celery, fresh spinach or portabella mushrooms. I have the kids cut up the veggies. The more veggies the better. Nice big. bite size chunks because these veggies are softer and get mushy if you cut them too small. Frozen and canned veggies work too but I buy whatever is on sale around $1 a pound in the produce center.

Note: if broth has cooked down then add more broth (water and chicken base) so the veggies are covered.

Cook: Additional 5-10 minutes until vegetables are preferred tenderness.

Serve with a hearty bread. I've used croutons also which is very tasty.

Note: As the soup sits the orzo will absorb the broth. This is GOOD! When there are leftovers (which isn't often) the consistency becomes heartier and more filling.

Serving Suggestion:
Serve over frozen cut leaf spinach. Cook separately, drain, season with sea salt and 1 tsp of herb paste and/or garlic. Makes it very hearty and satisfying but be sure to season the spinach or it becomes bland.

This makes a great meal to share with sick friends.