My first in a series of essays about resisting the pull of this world.
I would have to say it is the whining that annoys me the most. In fact, annoying is not a strong enough word. Nor is irksome but they will have to do. When I hear that voice say, "Oh, can I have it? I really, really want it. I need it!" my neck gets tense and I have to close my eyes and count to ten before I do something rash. Like whip out my wallet.
I could say my kids whine (don't they all?) but I really have to look out for my own gimme attitude too. Let's face it, the pull of matter is strong. You know matter, it is also known as 'stuff' and it calls my name. How can I expect my kids to stop asking for stuff if I give in to the same material sirens calling to me? Over the years I have learned a few tricks to diffuse the allure of the shiny things at the mall.
Create a commercial desert. For the first 7 years of our marriage we did not have cable. It was one of those cost saving measures we took to keep me from working full time. Eventually we did have cable and we watched all types of nifty, educational and time waster shows. We had it for years. Then we cut it off, mostly. We get the local channels and streaming television and movies with Netflix, Hulu Plus and Youtube through our XBox.Clearly we have no shortage of entertainment but that is for another conversation. After a while I noticed the "gimmes" dramatically decreased from all of us. The secret? Our home is a commercial desert. Streaming services are either advertisement free or they are limited. So instead of my kids being bombarded by toy commercials from Disney clones they have to watch car insurance commercials.
Demagnetize the mall. The mall is a magnet for matter. Pretty obvious I know but let's be honest. Did you even know you needed that combination shiatsu massager seat warmer with bonus smoothie maker from Brookstone before you saw it at the mall? Well, maybe if you are from Wisconsin but I live in sub-tropical Georgia so I really don't need it. We used to hang out at the air conditioned play place weekly when the kids were little and were bombarded by the shiny stuff that lives there. Now we go less than once a month and usually with a plan. Even when I go to window shop with my preteen daughter I have a plan of which stores we will visit to minimize the pull of matter. Which brings me to the third thing I have learned about myself.
Disdain dens of discontent There are some stores that are on my personal no fly list. Primary reason? They make me discontent. This goes deeper than just wanting stuff. I actually become unhappy and lose my ability to choose contentment. I can be walking along enjoying my guilty pleasure (tall coffee with cream and a shot of hazelnut) feeling good about me without a second thought about my hair, make up or outfit when my eyes wander to the one store in the mall that calls out to me more than any other, The Limited. It isn't just the clothes but the image they are selling of a sophisticated, classic beauty that pulls at me. If I walk around that store I start comparing myself to the image they are selling and feel like I come up short. I almost begin to believe the lie that this is the image I want people to see and you know what? It really isn't. I want to be recognized for my heart, compassion, intelligence, creativity and character. When I forget that then I know to put up imaginary police tape around anything that feeds me a lie I will buy.
These are just a few practical choices that work for our family. What about yours? What do you do to resist the pull of matter?
